If ministers have the fortitude to greet arriving and departing worshipers on Sunday, they will find themselves whipsawed between conflicting needs.

Longtime members want the pastor's attention and believe, quite justifiably, that they deserve it. Visitors, new members and those not yet incorporated into church life need the pastor's attention, too.

On a recent Sunday, I talked with a needy member at the front door and watched helplessly as a dozen newcomers left church without any connection. We didn't get their names or e-mail addresses, or say a word of welcome, or convey a desire to embrace.

If I had focused on the newcomers, of course, it would have been the member who left feeling ignored.

If ministers have the fortitude to greet arriving and departing worshipers on Sunday, they will find themselves whipsawed between conflicting needs.

Longtime members want the pastor's attention and believe, quite justifiably, that they deserve it. Visitors, new members and those not yet incorporated into church life need the pastor's attention, too.

On a recent Sunday, I talked with a needy member at the front door and watched helplessly as a dozen newcomers left church without any connection. We didn't get their names or e-mail addresses, or say a word of welcome, or convey a desire to embrace.

If I had focused on the newcomers, of course, it would have been the member who left feeling ignored.

Is there a better way to handle Sunday greetings? Yes, there is.

First, it needs to be a team effort. In a staff of pastors, all of them need to be out front greeting. Members with a heart for greeting strangers and skill at listening should "work the crowd." In an ideal world, all worshipers would avoid inward-facing circles and make room for strangers. But I think that is expecting too much, especially when church life is focused so much on Sunday. So, like a "designated driver" on Saturday night, a few members must set aside their socialization needs and greet strangers.

Second, the goal is to get names and e-mail addresses. First-Sunday visitors aren't interested in deep conversation. But they do measure responsiveness. If the pastor doesn't write or call, they look elsewhere. How can the whipsawed pastor write or call without basic data?

Third, follow-up must be one-on-one. Coffee on a weekday, lunch, an afternoon office visit, even a home visit -- somehow, the pastor must sit face-to-face with visitor and start the life-transforming process of learning story, need, and yearning.

Finally, well-intentioned greeting must lead somewhere: a membership class where people can explore emerging needs, ministry groups that welcome them by name, mission groups that put them to work, and a community where people talk about new life, not better yesterdays.

Tom Ehrich is a writer, consultant, and leader of workshops. An Episcopal priest, he lives in New York City. The church wellness project can be found at www.churchwellness.com.

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wrote on April 05, 2008

Title: Pastor, Rehoboth Presbyterian Church Thanks for refocusing our churches, as in the members, on the much needed ministry of Greeting. I appreciate your sensitivity to the 'whipsaw' Pastors face after worship between the needs and wants of members, and the need to welcome and greet our visitors. I also agree that visitors 'measure responsiveness,' and look for the warmth of smiles, the invitation to future events, a letter or an email that afternoon or the next day, and a follow up phone call within the week. However, I'd like to disagree that 'the pastor' must respond to visitors with 'coffee... lunch...a home visit...sit(ting) face-to-face.' As a pastor, I continue to do and support the ministry of greeting, and respond to visitors as you describe. But, I constantly pull on that team of members with a 'heart for greeting strangers and skill at listening' to lead our greeting and responding effort. We have imagined and are trying to implement a wider response... visitors having coffee with one member, having lunch with another, getting a phone call from a third, as well as a letter, email, or visit from me. To suggest the member's roll is to 'get names and email addresses,' and the pastor's role is to respond, perpetuates the assumption that people should join a church where they like the pastor. I hope they like me, but I want them to know and love the members even more. After all, those members are the church. I'm just the pastor.

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